tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-141631154102533821.post6003430477173324685..comments2024-03-26T07:53:30.798-06:00Comments on A Muslim Child is Born: Temper Tantrums: A Montessori PerspectiveUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-141631154102533821.post-73572437063508892932010-11-12T13:07:30.300-07:002010-11-12T13:07:30.300-07:00Assalamu alaikum,
sis Amna, from the points menti...Assalamu alaikum,<br /><br />sis Amna, from the points mentioned in the post, have all of those methods failed to provide a positive outcome? <br /><br />Also, when you say "he never seems to listen", can you provide an example perhaps insha'Allaah?<br /><br />If you would feel more comfortable emailing this to me directly that is not a problem (email: ummannuman@yahoo.ca). <br /><br />If there is any assistance I can provide, for the Sake of Allaah, I will be happy to do so. <br /><br />Jazakillahu khayr.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-141631154102533821.post-25600941466258010442010-11-12T13:03:19.912-07:002010-11-12T13:03:19.912-07:00Waalaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
S...Waalaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,<br /><br />Sis Mujahida, first, I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your comment. I've fallen sooo far behind subhana'Allaah *smile*. <br /><br />With regard to your daughter, as you said, it is not always easy because each child is unique and it is not always easy to know what exactly set the tantrum in motion. <br /><br />One of the things that I see parents and teachers do (because it is so easy to fall into this...we sometimes don't even see ourselves doing it subhana'Allaah), is to engage in a back and forth discussion/argument with the child. What I mean by this is that the child is screaming/yelling/demanding and the parent gets flustered and begins doing something quite similar, if not identical, and this sends a strong message to a child that if continually repeated, can undermine the authority of the parent. This type of behaviour from a parent or teacher tells a child that it is okay to argue with you, scream at you, disrespect you, etc. and this moves the parent/teacher to the level of the child they are dealing with. A child learns not to respect this type of adult after this behaviour repeats itself...waallaahu a'lam. A teacher/parent who is able to maintain self-control and resists engaging in back and forth battles (verbal) sends the message that, "I am more than willing to help you but I cannot do so unless and until you are able to calm down...period." The conversation stops there. The child knows that his/her tantrum is not going to illicit the desired effect and they calm down insha'Allaah. This of course, is much easy to say than do *smile* and it takes time. We must also remember to model the ways of handling anger that our Prophet Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa salam) taught us. When a child sees this, we are showing them the proper way to deal with frustration.<br /><br />In a classroom setting it can be slightly easier b/c from the first days of school, the teacher sets the tone of the class and the students learn what the teacher will and will not tolerate. Ultimately, it is up to the parent or teacher to be the one to maintain self-control. If we lose it, then we have modeled to the child that when things don't go your way, it is ok to behave this way, when in fact it is not.<br /><br />As it was mentioned above, we do not need to ignore the child completely because we do need to let them know that we are there to help, however, we do need to provide positive ways for children to deal with their anger (while not showing our own as our tempers escalate...not always easy...lol). Again, teaching children the way the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa salam) instructed us to deal with anger is best. If you see that the situation is really just getting out of control or nearing that point, pause and tell your child calmly, "Subhana'Alllah, wait. Anger is from the shaytaan. Our prophet taught us to make wudu when our anger gets this way. Would you like to go and make wudu with me insha'Allaah? I think it would help both of us insha'Allaah." <br /><br />Some classrooms have a peace table while others have a chair that is in an area that is very soothing and calm. There is a plant and nice picture and nice floor rug for example. Children are invited to use this area to reign in their emotions.<br /><br />We must continue to ask Allaah to aide us and make our children from among the saliheen and those children who have birr-ul-walidayn. Du'a is so very important and we must continue to make du'a for our children. We must also ask Allaah to help us to be righteous slaves and from among those who follow the Quran and Sunnah as the Salaf-as-Salih understood and practiced it....there can only be success, in all matters, through following this path. <br /><br />My apologies for the long post. <br /><br />Jazakillahu Khayr dear sisAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-141631154102533821.post-36953282148160362832010-11-12T12:09:06.592-07:002010-11-12T12:09:06.592-07:00I would want some advise for my 4years old boy. He...I would want some advise for my 4years old boy. He seems to never listen, he is feeling left out since we had our daughter..he loves her so much but there are some times he wants him n him...and its drives me nuts..any tips to control my anger and all...Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09723202141177580904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-141631154102533821.post-52122786100135653152010-11-08T03:55:41.662-07:002010-11-08T03:55:41.662-07:00As salamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
...As salamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.<br /><br />Mashaa Allah, I think this kind of pedagogy can be effective and I'm agree with each of the points highlighted above. Only I think sometimes it's not easy "...to figure out what works for the individual child". This is the crucial point: to be able to recognize the best method of approaching. And sometimes the personality of the child has so much <i>nuances</i> that it becomes difficult for the educator (parents/teachers). So, I think I have to learn about it insha Allah (especially with regard to my daughter...she has a very particular temperament and I admit I'm often not capable to conduct it, astaghfirullah).<br /><br />...and what do you think about this beneficial article insha Allah?! *smile*<br /><br />Any suggest for me about my daughter insha Allah?! She is too similar to me and this create many "battles" between us, mashaa Allah: we are very stubborn, astaghfirullah. And then she misses a paternal figure.<br /><br />Sorry for my letting off steam and barak'Allahu fiki ukhti. *smile*MUJAHIDAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05030106922008598612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-141631154102533821.post-66932178064622879702010-11-06T14:05:28.470-06:002010-11-06T14:05:28.470-06:00Waalaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
w...Waalaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,<br /><br />wa iyaki. Jazakillahu khayr *smile*. I am curious, are there any part(s) you did not agree with or perhaps you know of a method that you feel may be more effective insha'Allaah? I'd be very interested in your insight insha'Allaah.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-141631154102533821.post-13250094761581227862010-11-06T08:20:37.171-06:002010-11-06T08:20:37.171-06:00As salamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
...As salamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.<br /><br />Mashaa Allah, very interesting...jazaki Allahu for sharing it!! *smile*MUJAHIDAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05030106922008598612noreply@blogger.com