Does this make me look fat?

Assalamu alaikum,

Whilst in the doctors office the other evening I grabbed a parenting magazine and began to page through it. I came across an article that was sad and startling. In the article it stated that recent research showed that children (boys and girls) were concerned about their bodies (i.e. their figures, weight, etc.) by the age of 5! They further stated that 1 out of 5 girls was dieting to loose weight by the age of 7 (or 9, I do not remember). They even mentioned a little boy who was picking the fat off of the bacon and only eating the scraps that remained. When his mother asked him why he was doing that he replied that he did not want to get fat. He was 5 years old. I was shocked! I hoped that our Muslims girls and boys are not afflicted with this same problem but then I wondered, 'how could they not be?' Being raised in a body-conscious society how can they escape? Allahul musta'an.

For what reason am I mentioning this? One of the tips they gave to help children avoid this hazardous way of thinking and behaving is for mothers not to say such things as, "Oh, I need to loose weight," or to ask such questions as, "Does this make me look fat?" Saying and asking such things with any kind of frequency sends your child a powerful message: Your figure counts.

As Muslims we take care of our bodies because they are an amana (trust) from Allah and we will be questioned about them, not because the latest fashion is a pair of jeans that most women couldn't even get their ankles into much less the rest of their lower bodies. But all of this made me think, 'Subhana'Allah, the deen of Islam is so perfect. Did not your Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam say : "Let him who believes in Allaah and the Last Day speak good, or keep silent; and let him who believes in Allaah and the Last Day be generous to his neighbour; and let him who believes in Allaah and the Last Day be generous to his guest." { related by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim}.

So mothers, even though it is tough to see that pregnancy weight staring at you in the mirror (or banning most of your fashionable clothes to the closest for Allahu alim how many months - and dare I say, years?) try to focus on the things that matter. And your figure is not at the top of the list (ouch!). This is not to say don't try to loose that pregnancy weight, by all means, strive to maintain a healthy body, just make sure your intention is good. After all, the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam said: "Actions are but by intentions and every man shall have only that which he intended. Thus he whose migration was for Allah and His Messenger, his migration was for Allah and His Messenger, and he whose migration was to achieve some worldly benefit or to take some woman in marriage, his migration was for that for which he migrated." Make your intention for loosing weight to please Allah and Him only and be careful what words leave your lips.

We will be questioned....