Saturday, August 21, 2010

Fatwa about raising your voice to children while you are fasting

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Question: Sometimes the children don’t listen or obey you and you have to raise your voice at them, so too when teaching them to fast and to not argue with each other. Does it break your fast to raise your voice at your children in order to get them to behave?

Answer: Concerning the issue of a child raising his voice toward his parent whether his mother or father, then the ruling differs as it may pertain to something which is prohibited or something which is legislated. However, the basis is that the child raising his voice towards his parents is not legislated. Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) said:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَاناً إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيماً {23} وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيراً

{And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.”} [Al-Israa’ 17:23-24]

It is established that the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “May Allaah have mercy on a parent who aids his child in becoming beneficent towards them”[1] So it is not befitting for a father to raise his voice towards his son in something which is prohibited; this is not permissible. A son adorns himself with the manners of his father so the father should be a good example for his son. He should be a good example regarding his character, his speech, his actions and his staying away from anything which is prohibited or not good, and practicing everything which is legislated or good. For example, we see some individuals praying in their homes and forsaking the salaah in jamaa`ah (congregation). The son would adopt these characteristics from his father and implement them in his own life such that he would pray at home and forsake the jamaa`ah, following the example set by his father.

Answered by: Shaykh Abdullaah al-Ghudyaan

Title of Lecture: Ramadhaan Q&A Session
Date answered: August 30th, 2008

[1] Shaykh al-Albaanee says this is Da`eef in Saheeh wa Da`eef al-Jaami` as-Sagheer, (Hadeeth #3118).


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